He is good...all the time March 20, 2014

The Lord has blessed me so much in the past few months. He has blessed me with a husband, a new home, a new church family & some friends, and most recently a job that I love. As awesome as these blessings have been, it has been extremely difficult for me to look for the positive things, and not be depressed. This move was WAY more difficult than I had anticipated. But the Lord has been faithful (when isn't He?!), and I have sensed His presence close to me along the way.

One of the ways I've struggled to see His work in my life has been in my job. I went from working 40+hrs/wk to barely 20hrs/wk, rotating from office to office. A great deal of the workplaces have been in a negative environment. While the work wasn't hard, I came home exhausted and down almost every night. It's been rough! I applied for other positions, was promised other positions, and nothing ever came through. Honestly, some days I felt like my prayers were bouncing off the ceiling.

Then, 2 weeks ago, in a whirlwind of events, I found out about a job, applied, interviewed, was offered the job, accepted it, and started the job...in less than 1 week. I've been at my new job for 2 weeks now, and can see clearly now that this was my Father's plan all along. Both the doctor and the nurse I work with are believers, well connected to their church families. This is a positive environment, and I love it!

God is good. All the time. Even when we don't see it, and everything seems bad. He is still good.

My vow to you.... Aug 31, 2013

 

 

My dearest Sean,

As I stand before you, I am overwhelmed again by our Father's goodness - and I am so grateful we are here - today - together.

 

I've told you before that I want to be a good wife. If you had asked me what exactly that looked like, and I wasn't quite sure.

 

So I dug through God's Word, and as I did, I saw with fresh eyes what God has to say about a wife's character.  I found words like pure, cautious, frugal, sensitive, wise, refined, sensible, honorable and unblemished.  I realized that I don't want to be a good wife...I want to be a great wife, a wife after God's own heart...the wife God has purposed me to be.

 

And so, it is with those characteristics in mind that I make this pledge to you.  

 

With God's help:

 

• I promise to be a faithful wife, to be honest with you - even it's painful. 
• I will honor you and respect you as my husband and God-given companion. 
• I will trust you, because I know I can trust my Father, who gave you to me. 
• I will celebrate with you in good times and share a tissue box with you when times aren't so great. 
• In times when it's needed, I will forgive you because I have been forgiven much. 
• I will walk by your side, helping you and encouraging you, through the best and the worst of all of our tomorrow's for as long as God gives us breath.

I love you today, and I will love you tomorrow, for I am greatly loved.

One of these days... Feb 10, 2013

One of these days, I'm going to "settle down" and start actin' my age...but today, there's too much yet to do...and so little time.

One of these days, I'm gonna stop to think about things more, take fewer risks, and not live life by the seat of my pants...but right now, there's too much at stake!

One of these days, I'm gonna have a clean house, an immaculate yard with no weeds, and no toys strewn about to trip over...but today, there is a sweet young boy begging me to sit with him, who needs to be treasured, played with and loved. So, I sit on the floor, surrounded by puzzle pieces, cars, and trains, storing each fleeting moment in the memory vault.

One of these days, I'm gonna take a friend to dinner at a nice steakhouse and enjoy a glass of wine...but today, my son & his sweet girlfriend wanna hang out with me & have pizza. So we eat pepperoni pizza, and watch a silly movie together. And I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

One of these days, I'm gonna go to the spa and enjoy a nice massage by myself...but this afternoon my daughter wants to watch a movie with me & chit-chat. So we talk about what's going on in her life and how she's overcome challenges with God's help. And then she says, "By the way, Mom, Happy Father's Day. You were there when we didn't have a dad. Thanks for helping me see that God is my Father." You know what?! I bet they don't tell you sweet things like that at any spa!

One of these days, I'm gonna learn how to make a fabulous steak, medium-rare, with all the trimmings, just the way my sweetheart likes it...but tonight I received an impromptu invitation for pizza at a local pizza place. So I go and hang out with 2 other couples that I really wanted to get to know...more than just Facebook friends. We eat, we laugh, we share intimate moments of our lives, being transparent with each other. And I leave, thanking my Father for friends who love and honor the Lord, and who challenge me to do the same.

One of these days, I'm gonna go on a great vacation, experiencing a few adventures out West on my bucket list...but today, there's a young man who needs to go school shopping. So we start the day with breakfast and conversation over pancakes & hot chocolate at Bob Evans. We talk about school, clothes, hopes for college, and how hard life is with cancer. We laugh, we cry, we hug each other, and draw strength from our Father who never leaves our side.

One of these days, I'm gonna get up before everyone else, and go for a brisk walk, watch the sunrise, and spend some time alone with my Father to recharge my batteries...but this morning I sit and listen...listen to the man I love pour his heart out in sorrow from days gone by, moments missed, and opportunities wasted. So, I hold his hand, and wipe his tears. I remind him of his true identity...that he is a treasured Prince of the Most God. And we pray together, asking our Father for continued grace and wisdom as we walk together in a broken world.

One of these days, I'm gonna get some take-out on the way home, sit on the porch with a glass of wine and enjoy the sunset...but today, one of my best friends needs my feet since cancer has removed from her the ability to use her own. So, I go run some errands for her, and then take her some flán. And together we eat, reminiscing of days gone by, we laugh and we cry...leaving nothing unsaid...relishing every moment....not knowing which one may be her last.

One of these days, I'm gonna go to the gym, actually USE the membership I paid for and take that Zumba class -whatever that is...but tonight, there's a young man who's searching for the meaning of something much more important than an exercise. He's losing his sweet mother, and needs to know why she is so strong, why she has such peace! And so, we stand outside on a bitter cold night, while he smokes half a pack, and we talk. He cries and I silently pray for the right words, and then I tell him of God's great love. And I know that I am right here, right now, for a time such as this.

One of these days, I'm gonna go get a facial...oh, that sounds so relaxing! But today, well...today is day 8 of a vigil at my dear sister's bedside. Today, I spend the day with her sons. Today, I wipe her face and arms and hands again. Today, I care for her and do everything I can to make her last moments as comfortable as possible. And tonight, I kiss her goodnight for the last time...knowing that when she wakes up, she will kick off the cancer-filled earthly body, step into her heavenly home and dance into her Savior's arms. Today is the first day in over a year that she's been able to walk without a cane, and the first day in years that she's been truly pain-free.

Yep, one of these days, I'm gonna settle down, take life a little slower and start actin' my age. One of these days, there may be time for fabulous dinners and wine, relaxing facials & spa treatments, and fun-filled adventurous vacations.

But today, I'm right where my Father has purposed me to be! Today I'm serving my family, and doing everything I can to love them well...trying to make a difference in my part of the world. Right now, there's too much at stake...too much work to be done for the Kingdom...just not enough time!

Oh Father, give me more grace...more courage...more strength to run this race with endurance. Please give me just one more day to make a difference.

A Journey In Healing

Those who are closest to me know that I've experienced a lot of hurt in my lifetime...sometimes at the hands of others, and sometimes as a result of my own foolishness.  Regardless of how it got there, I've decided that it's past time to resolve some of the hurt & lay it to rest.  I've seen firsthand how leaving unresolved issues in one's heart can be the fertilizer for seeds of anger, rage, bitterness & hatred.  I've also seen how those seeds can choke out the goodness, kindness, and sweet spirit in one's heart and have a damaging effect on life, health & relationships.

So, in following the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I'm embarking on a journey of forgiveness & growth.  I've dusted off a study guide that I went through 10 years ago - Lord, Heal My Hurts by Kay Arthur from Precept Ministries.  I've committed to do ALL of the homework, regardless of how long it takes me to finish the book. 

I'm excited about the work the Lord is already doing in my heart & can't wait to see what He has in store for me!    Ready?  Here we go!

4 Generations - and a Legacy

In April 2008, I was blessed to be able to visit my grandmother in Philadelphia. I don't get to see her very often, and although we were only able to stay with her for a couple of days, the time we spent together was well worth the 24 hours it took to drive there & back!

My grandmother turned 80 this year, and as you can see, she is 80 years young! Whew! I hope I have as much energy and look as young as she does when I'm 80! The 4 Generations go from left to right: Mary Waltz (grandmother), Janice Schaffhauser (mother), Renee Hippensteel (me), and Susan Wilson (daugther).

I learned a lot about my grandmother while I was there - most importantly, I learned just how closely she walks with the Lord, and how much of a Godly legacy she has left for her family. My grandmother lives in the home she was born in - a home that my great-grandparents built in 1922. She lived a hard life: growing up on a farm (yes, South Philadelphia was all farm fields and dirt roads back then); putting herself through community college; marrying young & having 4 children; being married to an abusive, alcoholic womanizer; divorcing him back in the day when you just didn't do that; raising her youngest children on her own; caring for her own mother the last years of her life; and now caring for the man she divorced all those years ago. What's interesting is that up until a couple of years ago, my grandmother drove a bus for "senior citizens"...hmmm :) Now, she drives a bus for inner-city, troubled children who are enrolled in an "alternative" (or second-chance) school.

We talked a little about her life, and I asked her how she "made it through" her early divorce years, and what it was like to visit & care for my grandfather. She told me that although some people "looked down on her" for her divorce, she knew that to stay married and raise her children in that atmosphere was not what God wanted. She also told me that while my grandfather was still a demanding, mean, old man - she knew that God loved him and that it was good for her to visit him and show him that love. WOW!

She admitted to me that sometimes she struggles with feelings of hurt, anger, and bitterness towards people who have wronged her or those she loves. And yet, she prays for them daily.

My prayer is that I will pass along that Godly legacy to my own daughter.

"A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman--who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls." Proverbs 31:10

Stories...

I'm fairly new to blogging, but I love to write. I hope you find my stories to be encouraging & uplifting to you on your spiritual journey.

I will warn you - some stories may be tear-jerkers...but all my stories will be ones that have helped shape who I am and more importantly, who God is making me.

God bless!